Love at home.....I was going to be a great mom :)

Today we sang "love at home" in church and it got me thinking about my life. I have always loved loved kids. I was the best babysitter and dreamed of the day I would have kids of my own. I have looked forward to this stage in my life since I was a little girl. I don't mean to brag but I always thought I would be a good mom I had all these plans about how my life would be and how my family and home would run. I thought I would be loving and patient almost all the time. I thought that with job charts and teaching a good work ethic I would have a clean house. I thought I would be so devoted to family home evening and teaching the scriptures that my kids would be so smart and ready to be missionaries. Family dinner would be a nice bonding time and a creater of great childhood memories. To make a long story short I wish I was half the mom and house wife I thought I would be. My house is a few steps short of a dissaster most the time. I struggle to get my kids to pay attention during family home evening. I can not get them to stop fighting with each other. Family dinner is usually run by reminders to stay in their chair, use their fork, chew with their mouth closed. Contention seems to always be creeping and lurking.
I have a firm testimony that our heavenly father wants us to be in a family and that we are to raise these little ones to return to him and make good choices. I know I am doing WHAT he want me to do (have a family and kids) but man I sure don't know HOW to do it. I am trying my best but I feel like a failure.
I am mostly sending this out into the void to vent my frustration. But also if any of you great moms out there have advise of what works in your house and with your kids please share. I know that these kids are the most important thing I will ever do in this life and I want to do it right. I want to have "love at home" :) but instead I feel "contention at home" more often than I want.